1 Introduction
by Galaxina-the-Seedrian
Summary: A story in which Doofenshmirtz's lack of sleep leads him into meeting one of the creepiest people he has ever met... (Rated for "violence", I guess...one-shot)


**I apologize for yet another random fan fic; I needed a break from the chapter fics. I'm gonna be making these for a bit to refresh my brain. Who knows? Maybe they'll inspire me to continue. :)**

**This was a prompt from a "300 Theme Challenge" thingy. I'm not gonna do ALL the prompts (as if ANYONE has), but I want to do some.**

**Yes, I WILL continue "Ignorance is Bliss".**

**No, I STILL DON'T know what to do with "Ferb's Goodbye"...maybe I'm writing it wrong.**

**I wrote this to establish 1st Dimension Schnitzel's personality. I didn't want her to be mistaken for a similar persona to the Schnitzel from "Like Father, Like Son". Point is, THIS is now her true personality. The first version of Ferb's Goodbye, as well as how I've written her in the Epic Remake is wrong, and back when I didn't have her character truly developed.**

**So...enjoy...I suppose.**

**P/F/P/F**

**1. Introduction**

It was 3:00 am, exactly.

All of Danville was sleeping.

From every citizen, to every wild animal.

All was at peaceful rest (other than that one 24-hour donut shop in downtown).

Everyone...except for the residents of a tall, purple building, that was shaped like on of the two famous brother's head. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was one of these people. He was simply lying on his bed, glaring up at the ceiling, seething in anger.

Now, Doofenshmirtz WAS asleep a mere few minutes ago. He was dreaming about a particular -inator that he was going to build in the morning, only to be awoken to a strange, loud banging noise. It was fine, really, since he could simply go right back to sleep...except he couldn't. The sound wouldn't stop ringing out. It was like a woodpecker; a very loud, obnoxious woodpecker.

The noise was coming from someone who not only recently moved in about a week ago, but clearly did not know what time it was. That person, whoever he may be, was also awake, and causing all sorts of distress for Heinz, or anyone else in the building. However, he obviously suffered the most. He MUST have, since the noise was coming from next door.

He couldn't take it anymore, after thirty minutes passed with the same noise, noise, NOISE! Doofenshmirtz got out of bed, not bothering to change out of his pajamas, and marched out of his penthouse, over next door. He never actually met this person face-to-face anyway. It was time to be properly...introduced, perhaps.

Seconds after leaving his home, Doofenshmirtz began to knock on his neighbor's door. The noise continued. He thought for a moment that he heard what seemed to be a muffled scream, but the banging was too loud for him to be sure. He knocked on the door, harder this time. Still, the noise continued.

"HEY!" Doofenshmirtz yelled, knocking the door even harder, "OPEN UP!"

The noise finally came to a close. After some partially deciphered mumbling, followed by mere footsteps, the door opened, revealing a woman around Doofenshmirtz's age. Her messy hair was a darker shade of brown than his own, and her eyes were a fierce shade of green. She wore a black sweater and a blue skirt, that was smeared in unidentifiable substance. Her sneer-ridden face appeared to have some red stains on them. Doofenshmirtz assumed it to be paint at first, being too tired to come up with any other conclusion.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked in an annoyed tone.

"Uh, yeah," Doofenshmirtz said, "You're kinda making a LOT of noise, and it's kinda ruining my sleep. I have an important appointment tomorrow, and I'd rather not have my sleep wasted because of...whatever it is you're doing."

The woman's glare softened to a sort of apologetic look, though it didn't seem too much so. "I am sorry for the inconvenience," she said in a sincere tone, "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Alice Schnitzel. I am conducting an important matter as of now, and I understand that the procedure is...rather loud. However, I would like to ask that you deal with it for a few more minutes. I am almost done."

Doofenshmirtz's face scrunched down as much as it could. The woman...Schnitzel was her name, simply said, "I assure you, I will not be bothersome in a few more minutes."

In mid-sentence of the woman's speech, Doofenshmirtz noticed something behind her. Something seemed to be moving, more specifically crawling, toward another entrance, one that Doofenshmirtz assumed to be a kitchen. Whatever it was, it was covered in the same red substance that Schnitzel was stained with, only the it appeared to be smeared all over the...the...Doofenshmirtz's eyes widened in shock. There was someone else in this woman's home; a man, whose face was covered, though Doofenshmirtz could tell that his mouth was gagged. The man was tied by his wrists and his ankles, and wore all black. He seemed utterly terrified.

Schnitzel obviously noticed Doofenshmirtz's expression because she immediately turned around. This was the first time Doofenshmirtz noticed the item that she was holding. A gun. She didn't do anything...too drastic. All she did was shot the guy in the leg...all she did...ALL SHE DID?! Doofenshmirtz suddenly didn't feel as tired as he was before. He was horrified.

The man let out the muffled scream that Doofenshmirtz remembered hearing. He stopped trying to move away afterwards while Doofenshmirtz stared at what had just occurred with a rather shocked, mortified expression, his mouth agape with horror. Schnitzel looked back to Doofenshmirtz with a casual look. "No need worry," she said, "What I do is completely legal."

Doofenshmirtz was speechless.

"Well, I must go," Schnitzel stated, "I need to...get back to work..."

She shut the door. Doofenshmirtz stood there for a moment, thinking over what he saw. He opened his mouth, then closed it as he went into thought. Then opened it again, before thinking it over again. Suddenly, realizing that he had seen much, much worse, Doofenshmirtz's eyes became half-lidded. He began to walk back to his home.

"...This never happened..."

**A/N:**

**And that's how Doofenshmirtz met Schnitzel in the 1st Dimension! :3**

**Yes! That's right! In THIS version, Schnitzel never actually knew Doofenshmirtz personally. She's also totally insane...in a DIFFERENT way! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN! XD**

**Usually, my female characters are either bland, complete chickens, or all of the above. I never really tried a..."serious" character before. I don't know if this actually counts or not, considering that she IS still insane, but she is calm and collected throughout this whole thing.**

**And if you're wondering about her "job", its a secret...yes, she's a veteran. A veteran from GIMMELSHTUMP! They take this **** seriously!**

**As for what just happened, that's left up to you. :3**

**I'll delve deeper into my characters backstories (all of which are newly made) pretty soon. Perhaps that'll help me with my fan fic dilemmas soon.**

**GTS is out; peace!**


End file.
